Ten Days of Company and Looking Ahead

I am not dead :)

Although there were days where I felt mostly dead, I've actually been doing alright the last five or so days.  We've had company since the day after my D&C. DH's dad came on Thursday (an already scheduled visit) and he stayed until Tuesday. We got him through ticketing and to the security gate and stood there for about ten minutes waiting for the arrival of my friend Jenn and her little girl (also an already scheduled visit). One person left, two people came. Ten days straight of company continues.  It has been nice. I have my moments of feeling sad and crying, but for the most part, having them here has kept me focused and distracted all at the same time.

On Tuesday, I had my post-op with Dr. Awesome RE.  It was more of a sit down and discuss.  He told me as long as I wasn't bleeding, I can start putting things in my vagina again. Yay! DH and I have definitely capitalized on that ;) It has been nice during a time that is so up and down and emotionally charged to be able to have that closeness with him again.  Hooray for some type of normalcy!  We also discussed the future and what we thought we would do next in our TTC endeavors.  First, we are going to take a break. Dr. Awesome RE recommends two cycles off after a miscarriage.  He said if we were ready in July to do a cycle, that would be alright, but nothing before then. DH and I are thinking more along the lines of September.  We want to take the summer and enjoy our boys, visit our families back east, take an epic ten year wedding anniversary trip in July (Hawaii!!), get the boys started on their new school year and THEN go back to TTC.  There has been too much forward thinking in the last year. We want to live in this moment. Enjoy today.

Well, that's about it as far as what's new with me is concerned. My friend is leaving on Saturday and I'll be back sometime after then to talk about what exactly we plan on doing in September. Stay tuned...

Miscalculated LMP and the Discovery of "The Source"

If you are uber observant, then perhaps you noticed that my pregnancy ticker has been adjusted. (Just so you know, I don't really expect any of you to have noticed that, but it has been adjusted so I thought I'd share why.)  I went in for my U/S this morning and noticed that they have my LMP (last menstrual period) as 3/3/11.  I thought it was 2/28/11 since my babies were conceived on 3/14/11. Silly me just assumed that the kiddos were created on the "Day 14" of my cycle and apparently, they were fertilized on "Day 11".  No worries, I'm just not 7 weeks pregnant today, I am 6 weeks, 4 days. Due date is 12/8/11. (That seems really far away, doesn't it?)

Baby is measuring one day behind and I was told not to worry about that discrepancy.  One day does not matter, but three or four days would, so I am choosing not to worry about this.  Heart rate was 103 and I was told that for a 6 week, 4 day old fetus, that is perfectly within normal range. At about 8 weeks, the heart rate will jump up to the 120-160 range.  I am also okay with this.  Baby is measuring .60 cm. Last Tuesday, baby was .20 cm and when converted to mm, baby grew from 2 mm to 6 mm which is also good.  Dr. Awesome RE also found what he believes to be the cause of the bleeding - a hematoma near the baby that is very small (hopefully all bled out!).  I am really pleased to have found a cause. All this unexplained bleeding was not sitting right with me.  There has to be a reason, right?! 

I am to come back in one week for another U/S. I am hoping that I can be released to an OB at that point.  I just need one week of no drama!!  RE recommended continued limited activity including lots of rest, no sex, no hot baths, no hot tubs or saunas, etc.

All in all, a great report! :)

Too Scared to Screw?

Yep. This post is about sex.  Feel free not to read if it makes you uncomfortable. It needs to be blogged about because it's kind of what's NOT been going on around here.  I won't be offended if you don't read or comment. It's all good. :)

So the night before my first beta (the disappointing 31) DH and I BDed.  It had been so long and we were getting "snappy" toward one another which tends to happen when we go so long without the sexy time. I believe it had been since a few days before ER, so we were going on sixteen days - 16 DAYS, peeps! (I didn't get married to be celebate, you know!) So, we BDed and were feeling quite happy with ourselves and excited for the next day's awesome beta and all the happiness which was to follow.

Then the next day's beta stunk (by fertility clinic's standards) and the following morning, I started to bleed. The bleeding continued for a week and so did all the uncertainty around what the heck was going on and we were emotionally, as well as physically, D.O.N.E. However, my numbers were doubling as they were expected and the bleeding, although heavy, was never painful with large clots, so technically, everything was going along as it was supposed to. Still, we refrained from any form of boudoir fun.

It stuck in the back of both of our minds that maybe if we hadn't BDed that one night, the bleeding may never had happened. (Of course, this is ridiculous, but we were grasping for reasons and causes for what we felt was a pretty unnatural occurence in pregnancy.)  Last night, the subject of it all came up and DH said that although he wanted nothing more than to BD, he didn't want to be the cause of any problem that might compromise a pretty fragile condition.  We decided to wait until after the u/s to make sure that we weren't up against anything that would make Dr. Awesome RE use the term "pelvic rest". It seemed like the most logical thing to do and although we knew it would be diffcult, we were committed to making sure everything was A-okay first.

It's going to be a loooong 9 days.....

Nothing Going on but the Rent

I'm so boring.

I have nothing going on as far as ttc is concerned.

Just taking a little birth control pill once a day, every day.

Anxious to start sticking myself with needles.  Can't wait.

Don't even go back to the doctor until March 2nd.

Is it March yet?

I'm gonna have to live vicariously through you girls this cycle since I got a whole lotta nada happening here.

Big snow storm coming.

School's already been canceled and we've got.....zero snow out there.

DH's work got canceled due to the snow that has yet to arrive.

Pharmacy called today and my meds are going to arrive on Thursday.

Because we have insurance, my portion of the $3500 worth of IVF meds is less than $300.  Three cheers for insurance!

Thinking about getting some laser hair removal done "down there" during the month of February just to amuse myself.  Also, I think it would be kind of me to be "fresh" down there for ER and ET.  Thoughts?

*Big Sigh*

Oh, and since we found out that we won't ever conceive another child by BDing, the BDing has been......AMAZING. Is it because I'm thirty? Or because BDing is now strictly for sport and just for fun?

That is all.