Sunday, March 13, 2011

In Awe & Very, Very Thankful

With tomorrow's ER looming overhead, I find myself feeling very emotional. Of course, I could attribute everything to my hormones and think nothing more of it, but what I'm feeling goes so much deeper than just high estrogen levels.

I feel in awe of the events that are about to take place in the next twenty four hours.  I feel grateful for the opportunity to expand our family and fulfill our dreams of another child.  I feel privileged to have this chance of motherhood again. 

I am in awe of God for creating man with the ability to develop technologies such as IVF and therefore the loving provision of helping those who are unable to conceive naturally the fair shake to become biological parents.  As much as I give credit to my amazing doctor and his team of highly skilled scientists, the real praise goes to God for his gift of life and all the blessings and benefits that come along with such a precious gift.

As a mother of two little boys, I find myself thinking of them, their needs, and how this is going to affect them and I feel so excited for them to be big brothers tomorrow! DS1 has been a big brother for more than five years now, but for DS2 to become one tomorrow is a huge deal to me. Their lives are going to change forever and I hope their new sibling(s) bring them so much joy.  This is the last night of just the four of us. Wonderful, epic changes are about to take place!

I feel so much love for my husband and the fact that because of us, new lives will be created soon.  It's so exciting to think about these babies and what they will be, who they will look like, and how much they are already loved and adored.  I love sharing my life with such a wonderful man. He is a great dad. Not to mention we make totally gorgeous kids together (pats self on back!).  I have truly never felt so close to him. Through all the TTC heartache, he has been my rock and I love and respect the person that he is and that he has become over these last (almost) ten years of marriage. I am awed by my husband.

Rarely do I ever strike a sentimental chord, so bear with me for all the warm fuzzies. I'm sure I'll be back to my sinister, sarcastic self in no time.  Just allow me this moment of reflection and appreciation.

Cannot wait to update you all on ER tomorrow!