Frozen In Time

I feel frozen in time. There is nothing going on here.  Not as far as TTC is concerned.  I am STILL waiting for my meds to get here, if you can believe that.  I waited all day Friday for them to arrive and finally called the pharmacy to see what was up and the woman informed me that she did not send them. She did not send the medicine I waited all day to sign for. She did not send them. She did not call to say she did not send them. Nope.  So she sent them yesterday. So I wait today. And she sent my Follistim to someone else and now she's out of that. So another day in the upcoming week or so, I'll have to wait for that too.

Although, we are suspended in time over here, we are not without big decisions to make.  We need to decide how many of my eggs we are going to fertilize.  I know, most people would answer, "As many as you can, crazy!!" but we need to play this IVF very conservatively. DH and I are setting out to complete our family and we are not down with having frozen embies.  We keep going back and forth about what to do, but we feel like we (hopefully) have a good plan in place for now.  We are going to get as many eggs as possible, but Dr. Awesome RE recommended we only fertilize four at a time.  The rest of the eggs, we will freeze and IF our cycle fails, we can thaw out and fertilize more eggs, but if it is a success, we will simply have the eggs destroyed.  This decision is hard to make. Lots of personal beliefs and morals come into play and it all comes down to what DH and I feel comfortable with doing.

The only question that remains is wondering if fertilizing four is enough? I worry that maybe that is too few?  There are people out there that get twenty plus eggs, fertilize ten of them and still only end up with two to transfer.  Ugh.

Why is IF so hard??

Why in the hell do we have to think of stuff like this?

My brain hurts.