Thursday, April 21, 2011

Letting Go

My whole body hurts. From the middle of my back to my knees, I feel my whole body gearing up for what I only imagine is going to be one hell of a period.  It's getting ready to let go. And I have been, too.

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and sweet comments. Some of you have been cheering me on since my first post. Others, my first injection. Still others, my first beta.  I am so appreciative of all of the support I have received during what had been a crazy, bumpy ride. 

Truth be told, I think this is coming to an end. I know there's no way to know for sure until my appointment on Monday. Call it mother's intuition, I think my baby is tired. It's okay to let go. I've been telling her since yesterday that if it would be easier to go, I only want her to know first that I've been dreaming about and wanting her for so long and I want nothing more to be her mom, but that I understood.

I will miss this baby every single day. I know it will be hard to deal with, but I have been told a lot by my DH that he thinks I have been strong and handled everything really well. I hope that I can grieve this loss and find a way to go forward.  Although it is not the outcome we had hoped, it is an answer and it is a way to move on and start living again. 

Oh, my sweet baby....

14 comments:

  1. Nothing I will say can comfort you, but I am thinking about you. Sending love and hope your way.

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  2. I'm crying for you, dear friend. Please know that I am here for you <3

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  3. Just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts.

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  4. Thinking of you and sending love your way xo

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  5. I'm so sorry. Sending lots of prayers and hugs your way.

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  6. I have a lump in my throat reading this. Im so sorry. I know nothing can comfort you at this time. Just know you are in my prayers!! Sending lots of love your way!! hugs.

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  7. Praying for you, Aub. Maybe I won't be helpful right now, but I want to be there for you. Lunch or just coffee or anything. You're not alone in this.

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  8. Oh I'm so sorry. Sending love and prayers your way!

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  9. My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. So much love from me to you.

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  10. Aub, so so sorry... you are so strong for wanting the best for your little one. (((hugs)))

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  11. what a beautiful post. gutwrenching, but beautiful. what love you have for your little one... i hope he/she pulls through to get to feel that forever. (hugs)

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  12. What a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  13. Thinking about you ((hugs)) I hope you receive answers on Monday.

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  14. Oh Aub, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were going through this. I am so heartbroken for you. I wish I could hug you.
    :-(

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