Wednesday, April 20, 2011

If it Weren't for Bad News, There Would be No News

Warning: I curse at the end of this post. Offended? Don't read.

Last night, I ran a fever.  Out of concern, I called the RE's office and let them know. Of course, they wanted me to come in so they could take a look.  The good news? RE thinks that the fever is viral and that it would pass within a day or two.

Bad news:  Fetal heart rate was down to 97. Monday it was 103.  RE is "concerned".  Says time will tell and we will recheck on Monday.  He also marked my check-out sheet "high risk pregnancy" for the first time ever and I found the reason why on Dr. Google.

Don't feel like reading it? Here is the gist.  In 300 pregnancies where a low embryonic heart rate was found at 6-7 weeks (low = 100 bpm or less at 6.3 - 7.0 weeks), 188 or 60.6% ended before the first trimester was over.  Many ended within a week.  (As in, go back for recheck and find out that fetal cardiac activity had ceased.)

I fall into this category. Yay! Can't wait to go in on Monday and see whether or not my baby died. And the best part? Even if the heart rate recovers, my chances of "first trimester demise" are still 25% higher than most pregnancies.

Fuck you IVF. Fuck the last 3 months of my life and all the hope I had that this bullshit would work, too.


  1. Oh Aub Im so sorry. Im praying for your little bean and that monday his/hers little heart is beating faster. Sending lots of love your way!! Hugs.

  2. don't really know what to say, everything seems inadequate... except that I'm thinking of you and saying a prayer for you and your little one xx

  3. I'm so sorry Aub. I'm hoping and praying that you find out good news at your next appt. Thinking of you until then.

  4. I'm so sorry. I hope that you are one of the 40% that make it. ((hugs)) I'll say it too though... This fucking sucks.

  5. Oh I'm so sorry. Praying that you will be in the 40% category and your little one has a strong heartbeat on Monday.

  6. No no no no no no. This is not okay. I am going to be hoping and sending positive thoughts that the little heartbeat increases for Monday. <3