Sunday, November 28, 2010

Why Now? After All This Time Has Passed?

If you're reading this and you've glanced over to the right where it says "Time Line of Important Events," you're probably wondering why we went so far as to permanently make it so that we could no longer have children only to turn around and change our minds. It's a pretty natural thought progression that I have every intention of addressing.  Quite simply, we made a mistake. Read on...

After we had DS2 and built our modest three bedroom home in Fayetteville, WV, we were feeling very settled and happy with our two boys.  Birth control has always been an issue for us. I got pregnant while on one and had a long list of bad reactions to a handful of others.  I knew deep down that I wouldn't take it.  DH had always expressed his desire to get a vasectomy when we were done having children, seeing as how I worked so hard to bring them into this world.  (He's a keeper girls.)  We both felt it was time. Like I said before, we were settled, happy.  So, we took the plunge and it felt good. It was November of 2006.

Fast forward to the early months of 2008 and we were thrown a curve ball of the epic variety. DH's job was transferred four hours north to Pittsburgh, PA.  We didn't have to move. If he wanted to keep his job, however, we did. Employment is good when you have a family. In fact, it's necessary. Kids are 'spensive.  So, we went. Loaded up our things, sold our first real home, and left for the big city.  It was a very difficult and stressful time. Needless to say, it was a change we neither expected nor welcomed.

We mostly relied on our strong foundation of mutual love and respect for one another to get us through the initial adjustment period after we moved. That's a lie. We relied solely on our sense of humor.  Thankfully, we were cut from the same mold when it comes to that aspect of our personalities. We laughed at the Steeler fans. We laughed at the Pitt fans. We laughed at anyone who thought that Pittsburgh was a great place to live. We laughed and laughed that first year. And laughed. And laughed. (Can you tell how much we wanted to be there??)  Fortunately, we were closer to where our families lived in West Virginia by living in Pittsburgh, so we went home many weekends. That helped.  As the first year came and went, however, I felt a shift in myself. One that I couldn't quite put my finger on. As summer faded into fall and all the leaves changed and subsequently fell to the ground, it became clearer to me what was going on.

My thoughts began to change. I daydreamed about when I was pregnant. I found myself walking past baby pictures of the boys and stopping and staring for a pregnant (pun intended) pause.  My dreams were different, too. More times than I can count, I dreamed of baby. A child. In our home...ours.  Deep down, I knew what had mind and my heart.  I wanted another child.  But, how in he world was I going to bring this up to DH?

To be continued...

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